Saturday, 31 March 2012

Lewes Castle

I possibly chose the best week to take a bunch of A/L.

The plan was to write – and I have been, thankyouverymuch! – but mostly the urge to explore in the sunshine proved too irresistible. All I knew about Lewes was that it was supposedly 'quaint', a few train stops away, pronounced 'Lewis' not 'lose' and home to one of the largest and scariest bonfire night celebrations in the country. It's not only pets that are advised to stay indoors, but children and adults of a weak disposition also, because of all the Wicker Man style shizzle that goes down. So I've heard.

I like this. Restricted part of the keep, Lewis High Street beyond, my curious shadowy mug and sunlit grounds behind me.

Petrifying to a klutz like me. Luckily there weren't many others around to witness me clutching on to the banisters for dear life.

...Or to see me making the most of the dressing up room.

The Mirror Factory. More like the Tw(h)at Factory
I could type up what I learnt about Lewes Castle or I could post silly pictures of me in hats
They weren't kidding about the 'quaint' thing.
Yowch. Lewd Castle.

Back to normality with fags, booze and manly crisps. Whew, was worried I was getting all cultural and civilised for a moment.

Join me next week when I'll be looking through a periscope at


(I figure if I say that now I'm more likely to get round to writing about it).

Flickr Link.


Monday, 19 March 2012


"There's a club if you'd like to go [...]

So you go and you stand on your own

And you take some photos

And some mates turn up

And you go home

And you cry and you want to die

Because none of the pictures are in focus

Not even the ones where you used the flash."

As Morrissey never sang.

I decided Spellbound, 'the 80s night for people who hate 80s nights' would be the setting for my first foray into nightclub photography.

I entertained myself taking pictures of the ceiling to begin with.

Then the lovely Nic agreed to be an actual human model for me :O

She has also agreed to share tips on how to write without being distracted by

The club began filling up.

Much better with all that ceiling shite edited out. I propose Komedia remove their smoke detectors for aesthetic reasons and so we can smoke indoors. PRIORITIES, PEOPLE.

I shooped Mark as well.

I have no idea who this is:

But thank you, kind lady.

What happens when you leave your drink unattended:

wheeeee double rainbow

Of course, this being Brighton, I attracted the attention of a wealth of other photographers. And two business cards.

A doorman altered the settings on my camera and took this:

(It's probably the best picture.)

Although I'm also fond of this one:

Radio, live transmission.

Mark and Nic with doorman's fancy-ass settings:

Nipple Dave was there! Why not tweet him to ask how he got that name!

Keepers of doors and coats and givers of hand stamps! Shit, I forgot to take a picture of that. Nice one, Karen.

Worst. Photoshoppage. Eva.
This one of Jenna would've been so good if t'were in focus. Look, it even says the name of the club and evverfink.
My good friend Mike.
HA HA HA oh shut up Karen
What is really needed for crowd shots is one of these babies.

Conclusion: I've taken better pictures with my camera phone. I've skimmed the manual that's come with my camera and other photography books, I've listened to tips from taleted pros and amateurs, I've been on day courses. But when people start banging on about apertures and f stops and ISOs I'm all stamping my feet and bleating "when do we get to the part where we go out and take pictures" or "can we skip to the part where we have sex already?" Still, it's an excuse to go out again and do better. I enjoy going out alone too; I've made a massive tit out of myself so many times you get to the stage where you don't care what people think of you for that sort of thing. Although I was relieved when Dave n Co turned up. Dancing alone is a little strange. Holding a beverage AND a camera AND twirling about to the likes of Siouxsie and her Banshees also proved tricky. Torn between breaking out the best of my goff moves and protecting the DSLR swinging from my neck like a papoose containing a thing I actually care for resulted in much spasmodic jerking about.

Flickr Link.
Yer humble narrator and Photogoffer.

Saturday, 17 March 2012

Mirror on the wall

Here we go again

Through my rise and fall

You've been my only friend

Thursday, 15 March 2012