Monday, 19 March 2012


"There's a club if you'd like to go [...]

So you go and you stand on your own

And you take some photos

And some mates turn up

And you go home

And you cry and you want to die

Because none of the pictures are in focus

Not even the ones where you used the flash."

As Morrissey never sang.

I decided Spellbound, 'the 80s night for people who hate 80s nights' would be the setting for my first foray into nightclub photography.

I entertained myself taking pictures of the ceiling to begin with.

Then the lovely Nic agreed to be an actual human model for me :O

She has also agreed to share tips on how to write without being distracted by

The club began filling up.

Much better with all that ceiling shite edited out. I propose Komedia remove their smoke detectors for aesthetic reasons and so we can smoke indoors. PRIORITIES, PEOPLE.

I shooped Mark as well.

I have no idea who this is:

But thank you, kind lady.

What happens when you leave your drink unattended:

wheeeee double rainbow

Of course, this being Brighton, I attracted the attention of a wealth of other photographers. And two business cards.

A doorman altered the settings on my camera and took this:

(It's probably the best picture.)

Although I'm also fond of this one:

Radio, live transmission.

Mark and Nic with doorman's fancy-ass settings:

Nipple Dave was there! Why not tweet him to ask how he got that name!

Keepers of doors and coats and givers of hand stamps! Shit, I forgot to take a picture of that. Nice one, Karen.

Worst. Photoshoppage. Eva.
This one of Jenna would've been so good if t'were in focus. Look, it even says the name of the club and evverfink.
My good friend Mike.
HA HA HA oh shut up Karen
What is really needed for crowd shots is one of these babies.

Conclusion: I've taken better pictures with my camera phone. I've skimmed the manual that's come with my camera and other photography books, I've listened to tips from taleted pros and amateurs, I've been on day courses. But when people start banging on about apertures and f stops and ISOs I'm all stamping my feet and bleating "when do we get to the part where we go out and take pictures" or "can we skip to the part where we have sex already?" Still, it's an excuse to go out again and do better. I enjoy going out alone too; I've made a massive tit out of myself so many times you get to the stage where you don't care what people think of you for that sort of thing. Although I was relieved when Dave n Co turned up. Dancing alone is a little strange. Holding a beverage AND a camera AND twirling about to the likes of Siouxsie and her Banshees also proved tricky. Torn between breaking out the best of my goff moves and protecting the DSLR swinging from my neck like a papoose containing a thing I actually care for resulted in much spasmodic jerking about.

Flickr Link.
Yer humble narrator and Photogoffer.


  1. Best photo of me in ages. I may well use it as my profile picture. :-)

  2. Awh thank you, I am honoured! =]

  3. these are good images - but, i know from experience it's not easy taking photos in clubs/gigs... my advice is to find nice photos on flickr and "borrow" the exif data for your camera settings beforehand:
    that's usually what i do, if i'm heading into uncharted territory... it's always a good starting point...