Wednesday, 8 January 2014

The Naughty Forty

The other day I earbombed myself with Savage Garden's 1997 hit, I Want You, and thought, if you choose to interpret the lyrics that way, they're kinda dodgy.

You'll never know what hit you

When I get to you

[chorus:]

Ooh, I want you

I don't know if I need you

- Savage Garden – I Want You

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE! THREATS! CASUAL NO-STRINGS-ATTACHED SEX! And then I thought it went 'but ooh I gotta find out' which would = RAPEY but it's 'I'd die to find out' which is quite sweet really if a tad unnecessary and defeats the object.

Following that I figured I'd pay more attention to my daily earworms for rape-y allusions. And because the subject was preying on my mind what with 'Blurred Lines' coming up again and again in end of year reviews. Accompanied by the usual outcry from those who dislike the concept of 'bad girls', the refrain of 'you know you want it' (which I'm pretty sure must've been muttered by MCs in about 90% of rap songs), and submissive scantily-clad girls in the accompanying video (again, see my comment re the refrain).

Don't get me wrong; it's good that people are finally considering the detrimental effects of certain lyrics and videos...but jeez guys. Calm yo tits. Sigh. I've said all this before.

A selection of other dodgy lyrics

Every breath you take

Every move you make

Every bond you break

Every step you take

I'll be watching you

Every single day

Every word you say

Every game you play

Every night you stay

I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see

You belong to me

- The Police – Every Breath You Take

:'(

You don't have to be beautiful to turn me on

I just need your body, baby, from dusk till dawn

You don't need experience to turn me out

You just leave it all up to me, I'm gonna show you what it's all about

- Prince – Kiss

He ain't picky, basically.

I’m up all night to get lucky.

- Daft Punk, Get Lucky

AIN'T GON HOME TIL I'VE RAPED A BITCH

Pretty much all of this:

Oh and hey look here's JT doing the Robin Thicke Schtick:

Senorita, I feel for you

You deal with things, that you don't have to

He doesn't love ya, I can tell by his charm

But you could feel this real love

Guys sing

It feels like something's heating up, can I leave with you?

And ladies

I don't know but I'm thinking bout, really leaving with you

Feels good don't it, come on

(Ngl; I would).

Source

Getting bored of waiting for songs to come to me, I went to look at this week's UK top 40 singles.

Let's make a night you won't remember

She say she won't, but I bet she will

- Pitbull, Timber

Um :s

It was pointed out to me that the first line I quoted is sung by the female vocalist...but it's still kinda Rohypnolly, no?

Guess I'd also highlight Gaga’s 'do what you want with my body' line if I hadn't seen her defending it on Graham Norton. She was saying to the press, 'you can photograph and talk about your body all you like but you'll never have my mind'.

That's some top shelf material, right there. Right there where all the kids can see it! Think of the children

Yo, yeah

Check the rhyme and rhythm

It’s nice and different

Plus is bright and brilliant

Kinda how I like my women

And that’s the right opinion

WOAH.

Now, let us go

I will take control

No more moving slow

In this situation

Hell yeah!

I like your style

Been watching you for a while

- Rizzle Kicks, Timber

Oh. :( After a promising start, it's The Police again.

First class seat on my lap girl, riding comfortable

Sold out arenas, you can suck my penis

- Jason Derulo, Talk Dirty

Thanks!

You can, run if you want

I've come too far, oh I'm not gonna lose

- Chase and Status, Alive

It's 'up all night to get lucky' again.

I talk a lot of shit when I'm drinking, baby,

I'm known to go a little too fast.

Don't mind all my friends, I know they're all crazy,

But they're the only friends that I have.

I know I don't know you,

But I'd like to skip the small talk and romance, girl.

That's all I have to say so, baby, can we dance?

Here we go again, another drink I'm caving in,

And stupid words keep falling from my mouth.

You know that I mean well,

My hands were made for somewhere else.

Your eyes are doing naughty butterflies

Oh, oh, one more drink and I should go,

Oh, oh, but maybe she might like me though.

Oh, oh, I just can't think of what to say,

Should I go, should I stay?

Just can't let her slip away.

I talk a lot of shit when I'm drinking, baby,

I'm known to go a little too fast.

Don't mind all my friends, I know they're all crazy,

But they're the only friends that I have.

I know I don't know you,

But I'd like to skip the small talk and romance, girl.

That's all I have to say so, baby, can we dance?

I was nearly in, but then came the pushy friend,

Killed the vibe and took my perfect ten away.

You know I need you, girl,

My heart's not made for someone else.

So save me here 'cause I can barely stand.

Oh, oh, one more drink and I should go,

Oh, oh, but maybe she might like me though.

Oh, oh, I can't take this any more,

Should I stay? Should I go?

It just can lead back to her door.

I talk a lot of shit when I'm drinking, baby,

I'm known to go a little too fast.

Don't mind all my friends, I know they're all crazy,

But they're the only friends that I have.

I know I don't know you,

But I'd like to skip the small talk and romance, girl.

That's all I have to say so, baby, can we dance?

I've been a bad, bad boy

Whispering rude things in her ear,

Please say she'll break,

Please say she'll change

Her mind and bring me back to her place.

I talk a lot of shit when I'm drinking, baby,

I'm known to go a little too fast.

Don't mind all my friends, I know they're all crazy,

But they're the only friends that I have.

I know I don't know you,

But I'd like to skip the small talk and romance, girl.

That's all I have to say so, baby, can we dance?

I talk a lot of shit when I'm drinking, baby,

I'm known to go a little too fast (a little too fast)

Don't mind all my friends, I know they're all crazy,

But they're the only friends that I have.

I know I don't know you,

But I'd like to skip the small talk and romance, girl.

That's all I have to say so, baby, can we dance?

- The Vamps, Can We Dance

I'd like to skip the small talk and rename this song 'CAN WE FUCK'

Feeling like a brainwashed Tipper Gore now I've combed through the entire propagandalyrics of the Top 40. What. A. Load. Of. Drivel. It's all blokes going 'ME SO HORNY' and ladies pining away for their lost loves (I'm looking at you, Ellie Goulding). Shout out to Katy Perry though and Little Mix for their tunes of ~empowerment~. No, sarcy punctuation aside it's good that there's some diamonds in the rough. More of that, please.

Another thing I noticed (hard to miss, really) is the amount of entries by the same artists. Bastille with their wanky hipster triangles, Avicii, Perry, Goulding...all have a couple of entries in there. Was it re-issuing of singles to cash in on Christmas? Or do we simply not have enough artists to go round that we have to keep buying the same shit by the same people?

Also, where is the indie please? Not even a cursory Beady Eye record? It's all pop and dance and R&B apart from that old one by the Killers. Was it on an ad or something? I don't have a tv. Yeah, I like to hold mirrors up to society (and my selfie) but I don't have a telly. LOL

Now it's like murder she wrote

Once I get you out them clothes

Privacy is on the door

Still they can hear you screamin more

Girl I'm feelin what you feelin

No more hopin and wishin

I'm bout to take my key and

Stick it in the ignition

So baby gimme that toot toot

- Our Kelly (Ed - That's a northern joke, folks), Ignition

Well, at least he asked, I guess.

Although for what, I'm not entirely sure...

Source

You got a body to die for, let me work it

Now it's murder on the dance floor

I wanna take this further than the dancefloor

I ain't forceful but I'm still hardcore

You're gonna give me everything I ask for

- Dizzee Rascal, Dance Wiv Me

I guess I'll wrap this up by saying instead of making a fucking scapegoat of Robin bloody Thicke all the time, why not apply that heartfelt rage to the rest of the misogyny in the charts?

You know you want it.