Monday, 21 July 2014

30 Things at 30

Now I am three decades old, I present my personal collection of clichés, advice I've received, observations and aphorisms. Feel free to add your own in the comments!

  1. You'll regret that tattoo.
  2. When life offers you a choice between a career or a relationship, choose the career.

    One of those will always look after you.
  3. Be nice to the people you meet on the way up, as you might meet them again on the way back down.
  4. Fake it til you make it.
  5. Convert anger energy into sit-ups and squats.
  6. Related to the above:

    "Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better"

  7. If you want something done, do it yourself.
  8. Friends come and go.

    Accept that. Some are only friends of convenience, such as work colleagues. Don't beat yourself up about it if you change jobs and fall out of contact. Lucy Mangan wrote about it here.

  9. You never know what sort of morning someone's had, so bear that in mind in your dealings with them.

  10. Bad experiences make for hilarious anecdotes.

  11. Related: I've discovered making people laugh (when it's intentially, at least) can give me one of THE BEST highs.

  12. It is not good enough to attend writing workshops. You must also WRITE.

  13. Eliminate the negative people from your life.

    You don't need cunts bringing you down all the time.

  14. Depressed? Get busy!

    You won't have time to feel feelings. As evidenced by my diary ever since I moved to Brighton...

  15. I will never have long, beautiful slim legs that go on for ever.

    Because I'm 5' 2", that's why. Yes, it's taken me thirty years to accept this!

  16. Keep a diary.

    Nah not this kind


    Although that's alright if you want to. I mean a diary that you write events in and such. I wish all of my friends did this too and I'm thinking of buying them one each for Christmas if they weren't 100% guaranteed to be used as beermats. The diaries I mean, not the friends.

  17. Use your initiative.

  18. "It is better to be alone than in bad company"

    Thanks to my best friend for introducing me to this quote.

  19. "To try it is to love it!"

  20. Six Feet Under is the best TV series of all time.

  21. Don't bother getting into online arguments with people who are more interested in being seen to say the right thing, and think they're so very liberal but can't even open their minds to considering a different point of view.

  22. This:

  23. "Life is unfair, kill yourself or get over it".

  24. If I show up to a club with a guy, everyone will think I'm banging him.

    I've had three shags in about as many years. If I'm banging a guy I bring to a night, you'll be made aware of this by the fact I'll be straddling him on the dancefloor to get the most out of this doubtless limited good luck.

  25. Don't ask parents or teachers for career advice - unless they happen to work in your chosen dream profession.

    Seek out those who are doing what you want to do and ask them how they got there. It's not what you know, it's who you know, and all that.

  26. Instead of being jealous that you don't have what others have, be grateful for what you do.

    I doubt I even earn £10k per year now but I'm a whole lot happier than when I worked full time staring at spreadsheets and a wall all day.

  27. Don't ask, don't get.

  28. It's not the nights you stayed in that you're going to look back on.

  29. "As one door closes another door opens" .

    Said to me by a colleague upon news of my redundancy due to cuts 5-6 years ago, and particularly pertinent now having received news on my actual birthday that my job is coming to an end...

  30. Left blank as WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW.

    I'm single, childless, prone to bouts of sciatica-related depression, I live in a moldy bedsit, as reported earlier earn less than I was on half a decade a society's standards I'm hardly what you would deem a success. But hey, at least I survived!