Friday, 11 March 2016

Fannying About

Does anyone I know seriously get their minge unhinged?

Or is it (and far more likely, I suspect) a habit of female journalists with too much money to burn?

I ask as I started reading Caitlin Moran's recent piece for Esquire, and got distracted by the following extract(ion):

I used Veet once, for this thing my school did at the end of A-Levels where all the students had to go on stage and collect a certificate and give thanks. The guys wore suits and the girls wore special frocks, most opting for white. I wore a semi-transparent blindingly white chiffon type of number featuring sparkling silver butterflies, a slutty lil thing I'd fallen in love with on a rare trip back to the UK at the time, from New Look. I think it cost about £10. That's what I considered 'fancy'. Still do. It's rare I spend more than a fiver on a dress, being a frequenter of charity shops, and more greatly enamoured of things which cost more, like booze.

So yeah, 18 years old and I used cream to banish by muff. Disliking the plucked chicken/shop mannequin look and the time spent achieving said look, I've been a razor lady ever since, with a landing strip left on BECAUSE I'M A GROWN WOMAN NOT A LITTLE GIRL DAMMIT.

Sorry, for a moment I lost track of myself and forgot I was blogging instead of shouting - as I should've done - at a guy I dated at uni who gestured towards my nether regions and asked if I hadn't considered it would look better with it all lopped off. If only he'd taken the time to explain how the sensations would've benefited me when we were getting down to business instead of considering his own male gaze...

Anyway. So I've creamed (HURRR) but never waxed. Twenty quid a month to pay a stranger to wax off your pubes. Really? Does anyone I know really do this? I'm not going to judge. I'm just curious. Maybe I just move in different circles, but I've never once text a girlfriend asking her what she's up to tonight, and receive that as an answer. And I'd like to think we can tell each other these things. I'm totally not going to spill our secrets on the internet.

I know girls that get facials, visit tanning salons, get their nails done, get piercings, tattoos, magnificent things done with hair on other parts of the body...but this has never once popped up in conversation. I've been reading about it in Sali Hughes' book as well recently with as much intrigue. It's a thing that comes up time and time again in beauty columns etc, but certainly not in my everyday interactions with ladyfrenz.

Actually I don't know anyone who's moaned about the pain of getting their eyebrows threaded either. Does it not happen as much as the beauty columnists (often whether it's consciously or otherwise, bribed by billion-pound beauty industries to sell their products and services) like to imply it should? Or are me mates just keeping schtum, like? Maybe it's such an everyday (or monthly) procedure that it's just not worth nattering about.